


Beautiful Words

by MissCiel



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Crazy, Crazy teachers, FUJOSHIS ON FIRE, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, Romantic Comedy, Shiratorizawa, Smut, Stupidity, Yaoi, highschool feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-12
Updated: 2018-05-12
Packaged: 2019-05-05 17:17:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14623419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissCiel/pseuds/MissCiel
Summary: If I am to describe you are, Pretty, Handsome, Cute and Gorgeous doesn't suits you... Those words are not for you.Because ...You are beautiful."How can you say I'm beautiful? Don't you see how fucked up of a person I am?"But Shouyou just smiles at me with his half lidded eyes. He reaches out his hands touching mine, caressing my knuckles gently.





	1. Part I

English class

 

The most difficult, boring and stupid subject ever. No wonder Kageyama is fucking bored to the core. He never really gets it. What's all with these eight parts of speech and how to use them to create sentences is so nonsense to him. Like hell, they're been discussing this for like umm, 5 days already and the topic today is adjectives. Sorry for his English teacher for he will never get it no matter if he discussed it for months. How did he become a teacher? Teachers are supposedly to be cheery like someone he knows. They should teach with passion like this certain person he knows. Look at him talking in a monotone voice, teaching like he doesn't have a choice to choose, he doesn't even have a lesson plan. Kageyama doesn't care actually. He hates English and he'll just sleeps but you see, right now he's reprimanded right now in class again so he wears his terrifying scowl to intimidate who dares to laugh at him is the best weapon but ineffective to one Hinata Shouyou who dies in stifled laughter as he mutters a weak but an emphasized DUMBASS.

 

He smirks at him when their teacher calls his dumbass... His? Yeah, he likes that sound... asking why he never pays attention to class and the best part, a surprise recitation! HAHAHA, that's what you get stupid. He he he, karma's a bitch, let's see if you can answer his question. I bet you can't because...

 

"Hinata, what's the basic pattern of sentence?"  
"Easy A sensei, subject + verb"

 

=|=|=|=|=|=|=|=|=|=|=|=|=|=|=|=

 

...He's stupid... I take it back...  
Maybe the world is fucking with me today because how come he knows that while the class not...that was like the syllabus for the next week? What is sentence pattern anyway? The class are so stunned that almost everybody's face looks like bloating pufferfish. And the dumbass just given me a smug look.  
I didn't know that he knows English.  
Oh my fucking God, Tobio, you should be angry and yet, I have spent my whole class hiding red face on the table, muttering dumbass...dumbass... dumbass. That look he just given me...  
So fucking hot and cute...

 

"*"*"*'*""*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"

 

I admit, I had a crush to Hinata Shouyou no, crush is understatement. I do love him for a long long time.

It have begun last fall when we entered the nationals, after beating Shiratorizawa. I supposed earlier than that but it was that time when I have realized it. The reason for the trigger of this foreign feeling was when Hinata and Kenma became so close, so close to the point that both of them are visiting each other. Kenma, to our prefecture twice a month and Hinata... This is what it makes me edgy all the time. Hinata will waste his money and energy to travel here to Tokyo to just spend his time with that cat setter. I noticed without knowing I tend to lose focus when practicing, always setting tosses to Tanaka thinking Hinata was there, and as simple as that, it was too late and our poor senior have to stay on the school infirmary to maintain his head. In class, when one of my classmate keeps blabbering with his annoying voice, I pulled him towards the sanitary storage and locked him there, a reason to send me to detention. Everybody knows they need to go away if I'm radiating dark aura this means I hate the world and I don't give a damn. I tend to shorts circuit when Tsukishima mocks me with his eat shitting remarks, making me crazy thinking what if Hinata likes that Kenma? What if Hinata gets tired with my shitty face and trashy mood? And a countless what ifs on my mind. Wrong timing, Shittyshima because that's the time I went berserk with my jump serve, putting all the clammed up frustrations I'm feeling inside when Hinata is, MY SHOUYOU is nowhere to keep me calm.

 

*******************

 

What's really unfortunate was, the poor Kinoshita who was just innocently grabbing the practice balls Kageyama had send flying out of his goodwill saw his whole life before his eyes when the terrifying comet of the ball's flying on his way. The face's starkly white, body freezes like a fucking glacier. The last thing in mind,.regretting why is still a virgin before he flies to somewhere,  
"Uhh, there's stars... I'm in the moon..."  
he thinks then the world becomes dark.  
"KINOSHITA SENPAI!"

The juniors were terrified.  
Asahi had his panic attack  
Nishinoya and Yamaguchi had felt 10 years of their life was taken away from them.  
Yachi fainted  
Chaos in Karasuno ensued.  
Ennoshita had punished the frustrated Kageyama.

Tsukishima, on the other hand, contemplated for the fucking first time he did a mistake for pissing out the King.

"Where's the damn queen?"

 

:":":":":":":":":":":":":":":":":":":":":"

 

That's just samples of the proof that he's irrevocably, irresistibly crazy head over heels with that over annoying, bright, cheerful, energetic, Hinata. His heart hurts every time he shows that toothy, wobbly sunshine smile, but not in a bad way. His ego swells so much every time Hinata soars, eyes full of aggression and hunger for victory. How proud he is like a damn bae when Hinata proves to every jerk who belittles him, his over terrifying smirk shows it and what he loves the most is when Hinata smiles, he called it the special smile. The non overly toothy smile when the two corners of his mouth are reaching his cheeks, showing those cute deep dimples, face tinges with pink, those golden earth eyes crinkles with unadulterated joy especially on sunsets, when they walk home together, the sunset makes him more beautiful, rays reflecting the thousand stories of his eyes bursting, waiting to be discovered, so damn gorgeous and he is so damn happy every time he knows he's the one causing it. He wishes that there's something more as to why he's the privileged one to witness those gorgeous smiles.  
But it doesn't mean life's a shoujo manga where you can just move with feelings because he's not really good at it, that's the aspect he sucks the most, worser than studies. He doesn't want to assume. His mind's a bad thing because he always realize in those happy moments he has with Hinata, he will never get to hold that treasure because he doesn't deserve him. He's too good for him and he will wonder to himself if he did something noble in the past if Hinata reciprocates what he feels. He's too thankful right now because he has him as his partner, as his best friend who never gets tired of him, his time and attention is always to him and of course volleyball so for him, its enough... Who could ever ask for more? Hinata always saves him, he always have especially putting away that disgusting crown he was forced to wear on , make him believe they could be anything, make him to keep his faith that humans can fly as long as they find their wings, make him wonder of how to live, how to make a life worth living and when this amazing person came, he have found what is the reason for his existence. To live to take care and to love Hinata so its enough, keeping his love only for himself, he doesn't want to be greedy because greed will end you up losing more. He doesn't want to lose Hinata by his side anytime, anywhere, in or out the court even though he will be just a friend, a best friend.  
It's hard to mouth out, hard to swallow like a potent sick poison churning his insides. Losing Hinata is like seeing the sun shines for the last time before the eternal rain succumbs.   
He's terrified because...

He doesn't know how darkness feels like anymore.

 

)*(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)*(

 

Being in love is way not too easy.

To the fact he knows Hinata would not swing the same way, his body doesn't acknowledge it. When this love starts, not just Hinata's unique himself is what he have loved to. He starts to notice the small things like those mischievous eyes plays when his stare's takes too long to linger on him, that cute nose, his full plump small lips especially when he bite those luscious bottom lips like he's tempting him to swoop him down and let him instead to possessively kiss, to devour, to bite that mouth.  
His throat becomes so dry like where his saliva is everytime Hinata is drench from sweat, his shirt is sticking to his body outlining those broad shoulders, that slim waist, the shirts hem rising to show those smooth, white abs then his sinful eyes travels upward to witness Hinata drinking on a bottle, his mouth clamping on the bottles' mouth as drops of water and sweat are falling down on his neck down to those deep collarbones. It's messy yet so seductive, those prominent Adam's apple bobbling up and down. Damn him... and it becomes hotter when he pours out the remaining water on his self like he's giving a damn strip show.  
He swallows  
He wants to be that bottle, no he definitely wants to be that water.  
Is it too hot?   
Its getting hot in here.

Well, he just take off his shirt, definitely a strip show and ahh... He clamps his lower lip to prevent a moan from escaping.

A fucking tease and it takes him all his effort to self-control because the hotness that he feels is definitely travelling down his southern region, and having a proud boner is not definitely good for the whole team to see. Being a creep to Hinata will be so goddamn not appealing.

Bonus?  
Kageyama is still a human and there's no such thing such as iron steel self control because the first thing he does when he steps in his room is to lock the doors, drop his things, drop his shorts...  
Then palms his hard as a stone cock taking it out from its suffocating boxers, thrusting his hips and fuck with his hands then goes to his fantasy, imagining Hinata riding him like a fucking cowboy.  
Sweaty, lusty, drooling, tongue's rolling out. That kind of delirious euphoria is what he wants to paint on Hinata's face, because he's fucking him hard and good, moaning his name Tobio, again and again as he molests his tight asspussy is way more better than any porn. The best in fact.

As he came from his high, his lips moans Shouyou like his fucking mantra and he takes round two, three until he passes out of exhaustion.


	2. Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oh Hi! I hope you'll leave comments so I can improve my work!
> 
> sangkyu!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are some filipino words bcx my OC is a filipinia hahaha....
> 
> Manyak talaga ang mga babae hehehe

It's been a year now,  
Of counseling and ranting and trying hard my best but oh thank kami sama because as of now, I am Hinata Shouyou, on its second year as Karasuno's ace, currently as Kageyama's bestfriend and partner in court and it will stay as that because why in the world I'm a very honest and straight forward person to everyone, almost but not quite coz I always lose my shits if its him. Why? You see, the reason why I'm going to Tokyo in every two weeks is to seek love advice from Kenma and Kuroo because I do have a special feelings for a certain, tall, dark and stupid setter Yamayama kun. To tell him how I feel is the most terrifying bravery I would ever done in my life. Kenma and Kuroo are starting to lose hope because all the tips they have adviced me all went up to waste, "Bin there, Dump that..."

 

Let me tell you why I fall in love with my setter. I admit, its not a love at first sight, I think it should be love at first fight. Seems right ne? Everyone should know that we always bicker every time we have our chances. Fighting from the simple puns and teasing rhyming names; Bakageyama, Tiredgeyama, Moody-yama, Jerky-yama and Dumbass Hinata is the only name he can call me and to the most nonsense, silliest and stupidest things like debating why blackbox is black box even though the color's orange or why it is called blackboard even though its green sort of things. We are too different and at first volleyball is the only connection between us but later on, I found out that we are very common. We both love video games, we both sucks at studies, we both like barbecue and meatbuns, we love weekends, we're both stupid and we both love animals. (But animals doesn't love him back... Hehehe). Until I came to love and appreciate our difference. Kageyama likes curry pork way too much. He tends to sleep in our English class no almost all the subjects and FYI, even he sucks at studying, he is somewhat a whiz in memorization and math. He loves milk and he is a kid acting like when someone messes with his milk. I do really annoyed at him at first because he is so bossy and egoistic and he has control issues, my god! And when I call him King because Snottyshima (shh... Our secret between you and me) said so I thought it was so cool then, this is where it have started. I have seen a side of Kageyama no one knows. He hates that nickname, because it always reminds him that no one can tolerate him, no one would ever waste their energy and breath for someone like him and when I first witnessed the agony on his face, I did understand, when he have shared a pinch of his self. Kageyama Tobio is just a sad person who is very awkward to deal with people. When I first saw him cry, it took me a lot of control to pull him in my arms and kiss that hurt away from him and...

Gwahh!

Kiss?

Nani Kore? 

 

I lose my straightness.

And what's worst? I started appreciating him more, even everywhere, its daydreaming I guess. I have come to love his silky straight black hair, that forehead which I love to flick since his brows are always creasing at the center making him Grumpyyama. Those blue eyes like stars and I have thought stars are the most beautiful thing in the dark but Tobio's eyes is always I have think when I go stargazing at night. His eyes twinkles in the most amazing way that it makes me blind especially this later days, he comes to know how to smile, eyes crinkles beautifully, it enthralls me. What I love the most is his smile. It always manages me to make me weak in the knees, making my heart awe with more adoration. I have feel invincible when he told me that I'm the reason why he learns and so it means, he can show all his emotions because of me and more than any good movies, watching Kageyama expressing his emotions became my favorite show. He really looks handsome. So handsome and I will be dead if I tell him that.  
I'm out of my head since I come to notice how broad and muscular his shoulders and arms and lip lick to that because every time he do dumbbells, Fuck, did I tell you how fucking hot he is every time he flexes those arms. His hands? They're so big and his fingers are long too sometimes I wonder how does it feel when he touch me. Hoo! Want more? He has 6 pack abs and if I'm blessed enough, he will take off his shirt or at least getting out of a hot bath topless, droplets of water flowing down his abs and I would really do anything just to lick those water out of his torso, with a towel enwrapped on his bottoms and let me take off that and see what is beneath that, Its not hard to imagine, I bet my ass to Hell that he is very endowed and I am hypocrite if I am not touching myself at home imagining those blue eyes hazy with lust, those big arms encaging me while he is screwing me behind with his massive cock and sometimes fucking me so dirty and senseless, foreheads touching, nipples grinding, scratches at his back, mouths marking our necks and fucking dirty talks. Shit, Kami sama, forgive me if I do have these bad things in mind.

 

Damn, I never thought yummy incorporates with Kageyama. One of my darkest secret is I moan his name,  
Kageyummy...

 

Fuck, my holy thing's getting hard... Again.

 

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-

 

When I realized that, so this is how it works when someone makes your heart beat twice, someone churns your stomach like there's butterflies somersaults, like you're become too aware of your surroundings, it's more of when he is too close to me in proximity. I always thought it's adrenaline rush because we're partners and we play volleyball but stupid me wonders why even if we together eat lunch and stupid me and him walks together to home the same symptoms happens so that's why I rode to Tokyo to ask this questions to Kenma and Kuroo, like what does it call if someone can build you up and utterly destroys you at the same time and...  
FWAHMM!  
Its called love like L-O-V-E Kageyama...

My heart hurts in a good way but I'm terrified. They say in order for this sickness to be cured, Do I want to be cured?  
I need to confess and find out that he does feel the same way. Do they think its easy? What if he's fucking straight and what if chaos ensues if I drop that 3 word bomb, would I ever live my life the same way after if his face twinges to disgust or abhorrence? No! Because my life's is at it's best when I'm with him. He blast out the best in me and I will not be the same person if he fades away. But no-uhh! Even though there are unacceptable risks. I really tried my best to reach out my feelings and what I said earlier about the plans that went "Bin there, dump that"? Here's some of the most memorable lists...

 

Checklist no. 1  
The Post-it confession.

This was the time your hopeless romantic made its way to his object of affection, pretending dumby dumb as always...  
" Hi Yamayama-kun, how's your class?" I pat his shoulders.  
"Don't call me annoying names dumbass?" His signature scowl is showing.  
"Wow, it's an endearment and be privileged about it!" Wow, was that an indirect attack...?  
"Privileged your ass and why would I be Boke?" Was that blush I am seeing? No, its redness because he's Moody-yama as always.  
So we bicker like always and I need to let my pride down just to find out why he never went to... Ahh!  
"My god, just asking if something unusual happened? Hope's getting high.  
" Ah yeah, someone puts up a sticky notes into my locker that reads...  
"Do you want to be the peanut butter on my jelly sandwich? Then it points me to the second one..."  
"Are you a camera because you manage to make me smile then the third, fourth until..."

"Then it told me to go to the rooftop if I want to find out."  
"Then what happened, that's so sweet?" My insides are jittery.  
"Then I ran.."  
"What? You ran, getting coward?" This stupid, making me wait, I thought I don't really have the chance.  
"The fuck, who wouldn't be? If I'm going to do what he says, then I might die, then you wouldn't have a setter and best friend dummy"  
"Do you really think that's a stalker?!" Oh my god...  
"Why not? It seems that I'm the only one between us who can only think and I don't really understand the peanut butter jelly thingy. Its a sandwich right?... Do you know how to make?"

My god, I was the one who think overnight of the cheesy pickup lines on that post-it. The original plan was to let the postcards take him to the rooftop where I was waiting with a placard "Will you go out with me?"   
"Arrrgh Stupidyama!!!" Can't help it to shout, he's really stupid then made a noble walkout.  
"I know how, just come later to my home"

"Bin there, dump that".  
Whoosh!  
Shoot

 

The Chocolate confession

If an indirect attack doesn't work on him, how about a heart shaped home made chocolates and you don't have to say too much because everyone knows what is the meaning of it.   
Yosh! You're the best Kuroo san. I'm sure his stupid brain will get what it means if somewhat gives him a chocolate on a Valentine's day. Yes, I can reach out now...  
My cheeks are so red and I feel so jittery

" Hinata, this sure is yummy, did someone confessed to you? Kageyama asked with a voice of irritation while munching my home made chocolates. Its not obvious but I know he was annoyed as prick but he's more annoying because I am that someone who gives chocolates to confess and he is the one to confessed yet...

"Arrgh! You're so stupid, yeah someone confessed to me but I rejected her because..."  
"Because what?"  
I still can't bring myself to bring it. Shit, must I torment this? Kami sama where are you when I need you the most? How can I smoothly tell I like you so much it hurts? Geez...   
"Just joking, my mom made it, our team also have their own so don't think and spout any stupid ideas" Geez Shouyo, coward.

He sighed in resignation and was that relieve?  
"I thought it's too late" Bakageyama muttered.  
"Who you're talking to Yama?"

Why did I fall in love to a dumbass?

Checklist no. 2 was crumpled and bam!  
Bin there, dump that!

 

The flower confession

If the language of the chocolates didn't get him, well try to woe him using the language of the flowers.

Yeah, Kenma knows how to be romantic. Well, 3 red roses means I love you. I hope he tells me I love you too. Here he is!  
"Yamayama-kun!" I present him the flowers that represents my feelings and for the last time I, please get my fucking idea, I love you...  
"What is that?" He asked quizzically.  
"Flowers, obviously" Here we go...  
"No shit Sherlock, I know what a flower is."  
I shake the flowers in front of him.   
"Ne, how does it look?"  
I wait for his reaction. Easy, easy...  
.  
.  
.  
"Is that for Natsu?"

What the fuck Tobio? Are you playing dumb or you're just really dumb? Are you for real? You are pissing me off!  
"Boke! Why did you bite the flowers?!"  
"Well, stupid like you doesn't know it can be eaten as salad stupid"  
"Should at least it must have a dressing?"  
Nani?  
Laughter echoes the ground. I get it, we're stupid.

"Come on Bakageyama," I reach out my hands. "Let's practice, we're late now"

The good thing at least was he took hold of my hands and I can't help my frustration dissipates because the warm feeling was spreading in my chest.

Checklist no. 3, 4,5,6,7,8 and a lot more confession tips all went to waste...  
"Bin there, dump that"

 

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-;-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

 

It's English Class again this time, the most dreadful day will be coming soon but before that, we need to overcome "The Hell week" where all of the students are cursing their teachers because they tend to cram teaching and burning students to hell to finish the remaining 2-week syllabus for one class session. Nani? Kids suffering blowing their brains off their skulls due to information overload then cardiac arrest because the lessons they have been shedding blood, sweat and tears doesn't appear on the exams. Nani? Is this a joke? Then they complain if almost all students will be taking supplementary exams. Hah! Teachers...  
Why is this happening? Because its Finals.  
Unfortunately, our English teacher is hell spawn...  
Sensei Nakamura's Judgement Day.  
I'm not worrying about myself because I just found out I'm a whiz for languages. I'll worry later for the other subjects and feeling majors and deep sigh... How to confess to a dumbass Kageyama Tobio. I ran out of ideas. My brain cells can't take it anymore! I'm at my wit's end. 

I take a glance to the object of my problem. This handsome, raven maned blue eyed dude. How about him? If he fails this, we'll be delayed for the prelims volleyball tournament and that's the real hell for the both of us! But, I trust him. He's good in memorisation but you can't take this manner out of my system. If I'm not to worry and to be nerve-wrack believe me, Hinata Shouyou is gone for good.

As of the moment, same as always. I'm tuning out our sensei's irritating voice as like he is discussing something what? Who cares? Who wouldn't be if I have this gorgeous on my side. Kageyama is so attractive. I couldn't help but daydream like a love sick fool. Its unfair Yama, you're still stunning with your heavenly blue eyes focusing, forehead's crease, your sophisticated thin lips forming a frown. You should be ugly as fuck but no matter what you do, you manage to swoon my heart and knockout the oxygen I'm breathing.  
Resting my cheek on my right hand far enjoying myself that I have failed to notice he starts talking, his pretty lips moving.  
" Hinata, do you feel it?"  
Eyes half lidded, staring dreamily.  
"Yeah, I am feeling it, for a long long time..." Do I sound so dreamy?  
Stupid Tobio. Of course, I know what I do feel about you, you're the only one who never know.  
"You do?"  
Then pretty boy turns his head to face me and FWAHMM! Heart attack! I almost fall myself on my seat. Shit! He caught me, caught me gawking at him.  
"Uhmm... Yes, to whom I shall do the pleasure with?" Fuck, this is so uncool. My cheeks are freaking red with embarrassment.  
His face twists into his annoying ugly self.   
"Oi dumbass, do you really have the nerve to fly your mind elsewhere instead of worrying of the finals?"  
"Uhmm..." How can I say it's your fault? Like hey, you're more interesting than the stupid finals hehehe. So to improvise, the sassy me just reply...  
"I don't feel any pressure right now" with the best American accent I can and give him a piece of my smugness, what I get? A smack in the head what else?  
"Its not my fault if you feel you fail"  
"Hey you! Just because you're so good in this"  
"Well bakageyama, I win this already so there hahaha"  
"How come is this a contest? I never agree..."  
"So you admit defeat?"  
"Oi!"  
.  
.  
"Kageyama-kun! Hinata-kun!" Oh, is that sensei calling?  
We both freeze from our silly yapping.  
"I just want to let you know whether you take a fancy or not that as of today, you will be having a new practice teacher in my place because I need vacation especially from you idiots..."  
Very respectful students, cheering already without finishing sensei...  
"YAHOO!"  
"ALRIGHT!"  
"Sensei, who's our NEW teacher?"  
"Bye~ we'll always think of you..."  
Sensei just squints his ugly old (ancient) face.  
"Mind you all, prac-tice teacher! Anyway, let's meet her.  
Then a young mid twenties stunner just enter our room introducing herself as Kuroko Misaki sensei with her perfect smile, gorgeous straight platinum hair, dark olive flawless skin and the killer brown eyes that screams beautiful and intelligence. Hell, if I'm not so gay to this guy on my right. I guess I definitely have a crush on her. I bet every boys here and err girls have found their muse to survive English. Instant starstruck, Ultimate new girl in town. Kageyama is smirking by himself means this is a good sign. I look forward to her teachings.  
Fast forward.  
Sensei already leaves the class after discussing things to teacher Gorgeous. I bet its our naughtiness and the reminder to make our exam day a living hell.  
" Can I lend your ears class?"  
"Hai"  
"Sangkyu"  
She even moves with accurate elegance. "I know that you're worried about your finals right?"  
"Yeah like its his enjoyment to see us fail"  
"Yep, which is not right" Oh, definitely everyone loves her already, including me.  
"Sensei Nakamura judgment day!"  
" Yes I do agree with you so what will I do?" She is feigning her indecisiveness but her eyes said otherwise. Then she paces the classroom back and forth and resumes her theater play.  
"And I do understand that you only have 5 days for the exam so I have an idea! How about I do my best to discuss the crazy 14 lessons for the remaining days but the exam will be only until adjectives! Isn't great?" She delivers those words like an act of god.   
Everybody shouts for joy like they have been saved by a messiah. Some of them are thanking to whoever deity brought down their angel on earth, some are crying and me, staring beautifully to Kageyama's face contorts from his constipated look to his movie star smile, with relief on his face.  
"But class before we celebrate, we need to make up for the short quizzes and I'll just add it up as bonus points to exam so your terror sensei never complains"  
Wow, I think she's my favorite teacher now. So more like a friend, human instead of a monster. I stare back at her to pay attention but what I have seen is...  
She casts me a knowing look. Lips forms a wicked smile and eyes gleams mischievously. Shit don't tell me...  
"But don't tell him alright. I do know you curse him to the core and I want to make lives easier so deal?"  
"Hai"   
"Then we will really celebrate because after 5 days, something good will happen." She winks at me. Like I'm the one she's referring to.  
Another shit, she caught me drooling at Kageyama.  
Fuck, I'm so dead.

 

<°><°><°><°><°><°><°><°>

 

What happened with the crazy 14 lessons of the 2 week syllabus? It feels like miracle is really real. Imagine, it became like a piece of cake because she makes it easy for us to understand and Kageyama's stupidity has gone for 2 hours everyday. Betcha he'll get a passable grade, a double digit score.  
.  
.  
"Shou, how come you manage to ace all the short quizzes?"  
What? I heard it right. Right?   
Shou...  
The way he said my pet name feels like the sweetest song an angel could sing for. Damn, my dumb heart's starting to fires like a pistol and my blood's rising up to my cheeks as I stare dumbfounded and the said culprit who made me undone mirrors my flushed face.  
And thank instincts and defense mechanism for we both turn our faces sideways and I have died and resurrected.  
< insert background music: Hallelujah! Hallelujah! >  
I manage to calm myself and I just caught Kuroko sensei looking at us like we're preys in her predatory eyes.  
.......  
"Class, this would be the final assignment to be submitted after the exams so here it is..."  
" I want to test how much learnings you got from me. So an essay containing a minimum of 500 words and more will be done. The topic is about a descriptive paragraph describing someone who is very special in your heart. I watch out for adjectives and ideas are limitless so anything's acceptable. And class, the most beautiful one will be called out to read in front of class. So that's all. Dewa Mata Ne! Class dismiss!"  
"Thank you Kuroko sensei!" And the class are so animatedly excited talking about Kuroko sensei being their topic especially the giddy boys.  
Wait! An idea just blasts out on my head! Kuroko sensei, you're so genius! I can use this opportunity to confess to Kageyama fucking Tobio. God, but can I manage to read this without looking like a fool in front of him?...  
"By the way, Hinata Shouyou dear? Please stay"  
Doushite? Nani?  
So I come forward to her but it seems Kageyama decided to come along too... Ssk...Why I do feel he's like a protective boyfriend? So I dream to myself.  
"Kageyama, what are you doing here?"  
"Waiting for him sensei"  
"I said Hinata, why, are you also Hinata?"  
"I'm not a dumbass sensei!" He defensively razz.  
"Hey!" I scream.  
"Oh, maybe you want to be Hinata Tobio?" She casts her most mischievous smirk.  
"Sensei!"  
Kageyama just shuts up, pink decorating his face and the fool is speechless. My God! He pouts and it takes me that to manage a giggle. Baka... He's so cute.  
"You're not a dumbass just stupid so go out now, Hooz!" She shoos him away to the door.  
And he takes his leave after reassuring him I go and follow him after.

"So Hinata, I hope you know why you're here and my assignment ne?"  
"Sensei, I do have a hunch that you're doing this on purpose. You're observant I guess"  
"Yep and I know you both need this, your Bakageyama's too oblivious"  
"Is it really obvious sensei?"  
"No shit Sherlock. Hahaha please mind me for the crude language."  
"Hahaha sensei, don't mind. But my stupid setter never really gets me. You know I have tried to confess to him way too countless times and just like a crumpled paper, all went to WHOOSH! " Bin there dump that", epic fail!"  
"So I made this plan because I feel you darling. My gaydar's too accurate so Shouyou, Gambatte and make the most beautiful words and hey, no more beating around the bush!"

This is real! Sensei is rooting for me. I just can't contain myself to be happy for this. I swear, I'll back up no more. I excitedly reach out her hands to touch for gratitude.  
"Thank you sensei! I make sure I'll be giving him a one hell of a romantic confession."  
"Please do because my fujoshi cravings are too deprived so I need a bunch of romance, my favorite OTP KageHina!" She smiles terrifyingly.  
Oh damn, I think Filipino girls are way too damn scary.  
What's the word?  
I have heard her saying this to her best friend on videochat once when they were having chats about shit, yaoi ...

Anak ng...  
Tanginang yan.

 

":":":":":":":":":":":"

 

That was so uncool...  
Acting like a fool in front of Hinata. Why does Kuroko sensei has to know everything? I admit I love appreciating such beauty as my dumbass but is it really that obvious?

... Hinata Tobio  
"Hinata Tobio"

Well she's right but she is wrong in one thing because I prefer,

...Kageyama Shouyo.

And so our hopeless devotee can't help himself to blush and smirk as he remembers his sensei's innuendo. It doesn't make things easier when a certain sunshine is 50 meters away from him in this court sitting, holding his book, concentration etches on that cute face as he reviews for the exams. He should be looking like a dumbass with his lip biting, tongue sticking out a bit. Shit, he really looks adorable. Wishing to kami sama, no one should ever notice his cheeks, no fucking dares...  
"What are you? A bitch in heat?"  
Well speaking of the devil, someone all too familiar who likes to shit on him just disrupts him from stalking er- observing his love.  
"Shut the fuck up Shittyshima!"  
"Geez, did I disturb you from your daydreaming King? Sorry..." The bastard never really feel sorry.  
"Shut up"  
The "King" never hurts anymore. It's like an endearment especially when it is coming from Hinata's mouth. He just shifts his attention to his ball, setting it repetitively just to ignore the brat. But Shouyou just waves at him with his sunshine smile and it's a waste of chance to never witness that.  
WHOOSH...  
The ball falls flat on his face. Hinata giggles with the first years. Tsukishima just dies in his stifled laughter.  
So definitely uncool  
"Wahaha! Kageyama-kun what happened to you?" Tanaka enters the scene with Nishihoya who is sticking with Asahi, Daichi, Sugawara, Yachi and Yamaguchi.  
"Your set's got rusty?" Nishinoya teases.  
"Hell not senpai, I'm just... distracted" Suddenly, the ball gets interesting. Why do I feel I'm being targeted here?  
" Hinata is very cute isn't Kageyama? Daichi pats his shoulders jokingly.  
It took him longer to answer than usual. He takes a glance to the oblivious person who is like teaching the first years. He really looks cute, determined face as he is acting like a teacher. He hopes that he is teaching them the right thing.  
"Hell yeah..." He absentmindedly says.  
Shit! Did he just think it out loud? Oh no... Bakero...  
Yachi whistles. What ? Did she really?  
"If you just went to the kill, then you won't have to suffer" Suga chides in.  
" Then me and Kinoshita and the whole team won't have to bear with your whims" Tanaka razzs.  
He takes a deep breath... I was just reversed psychology. Wow, I guess its over.  
Feigning innocence saves me please...  
"What the heck you're talking to?"  
"WE'RE TALKING ABOUT YOUR HOPELESS PINING TO HINATA!"  
"Shh..."   
Escaping is still a possibility right? Denial?  
"Oi, you're mistaken, don't make assumptions about our friendship..."  
"Bitch please, every time Hinata's gone, you become a pissy demon king towards us"  
"And you're this kind of a shoujo manga girl who looks like a lovesick fool every time you're checking him out"  
"And guess what? Poor Kinoshita is still in trauma"

There's no escaping now huh, no more diversion of the truth. He is scared alright but why telling the world he loves Hinata makes him nervous? No, its not about that. He is so much proud to shout to everyone he loves him. It's the judgment of Hinata is what he is afraid of. Taking another deep breath...  
"Guys, what if he never likes me back? What should I do?"  
Hohoho... How can they absorb the bomb that was just exposed in front of them. They have a hunch yeah, but they would never ever dream to witness the King to confess his feelings and thinking its still not the end of the world. And Kageyama feels inwardly unexpectedly satisfied to see the priceless reaction of their faces.  
Sugawara inwardly smirks. Yes, he will be having the team's bet and definitely having his ass a deserving mind breaking fucking from Daichi later on. Who would ever suspect their king who is the definition of stubbornness just comes out of the blue. Hinata's more stubborn every time they nudges him to confess about his feelings for his setter.  
But he knows how to read between the lines. His kouhai feels doubtful and terrified. They know it because of what he have experienced since middle school and that what triggers his fear to open up his feelings to someone, why he doesn't just want to take out his trust for just someone to pick it up then drop it away. But he's different now, he is alive more than ever and he should know that Karasuno loves him as he is. Especially he should never doubt Hinata because of all of the person in earth, Hinata is the one who relentlessly push himself to get his trust. The one who change him for the better. He does understand that kageyama's too afraid of Hinata because he's the one who can definitely built him up and destroys him effortlessly. He definitely sucks at feelings because he never realizes...   
Oblivious idiots these two kouhais they have.  
The team just stares at him with understanding. They know, they understand but Kageyama should never underestimate himself. He's too pessimistic to believe that...  
Fuck, even the thick sexual tension is making them cringe already... Idiots.  
"So the King's afraid?"  
"Tsukki, don't be too forward..." Yamaguchi panicky says.

Kageyama just looks to the ground contemplating if he choose to die instead of telling them, admitting. Or he can just turn away and pretend this conversation never happens.  
Fuck feelings. He is never good at this and it will never be.  
However, his whole team, almost is waiting for his answer. However, he's tired of keeping his heart inside the cage he defensively built on. He's too tired of restraining himself of reaching out and get what he really wants. He have realize a long time ago, more than his love for volleyball what he really needed is in the form of one Hinata Shouyou. He's just too dumb to get it. His whole team, faces showing him that he can do this, that they can be definitely be trusted so he just take one last deep breath and lets go. He's letting go now...  
Voice thick with emotion "Yes... because he's like the one I'm afraid to lose to... I,"  
He just smiles and crazy it is, he's doing one of the most difficult thing in his life and he's grateful that he really doesn't need to continue. They understand. Words are not needed.  
I'm afraid that I don't know how be alone and to live my old miserable self anymore if I lose him.   
I love him too much it hurts...  
"So do you admit defeat King?" He says it with no hard intention, just pure question, no sarcasms, no cynicism.  
Defeat? Is this even a competition?   
"No, it's..."  
.  
.  
"Yamayama kun!"  
His sunshine just appear all of the sudden in front of him, taking him by surprise. Eyes innocent and oblivious to the scene. Thank God.  
"Idiot! The hell you're being dumb here? We have lots to do!..."  
"Senpais! Yachi san! Tsukkishima and Yamaguchi! I know you're like discussing tactics but I need to borrow this idiot to teach him in English. We won't want to delay the tournament because of him... OUCH BAKAGEYAMA! Just telling them the truth so there! Bye! See you later!" He grabs his arms and excitedly pulls him towards the first years to get their bags, say their goodbyes and leaves the gym  
"Oi you, tutor?" Kageyama teases.  
"Why not? We need to pass for us to be early for the tournament, idiot besides I'm a good teacher"  
"Yeah, yeah"  
He thinks its safe to do this, encircling his left arm to Hinata's shoulders. Walking shoulder to shoulder as they go to the gym's door thinking about what he is should be replying...  
So do you admit defeat, King?

...I'm already defeated a long long ago when I realized he already, I mean I gave my heart to him.  
Defeat?  
If Shouyo stays with me until time stops...  
He wants to tell also...  
Does it really matters now?

Shouyo is worth more than the countless victories he can conquer...  
If Shouyo is my defeat, then I would be the most cheerful loser.

×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×


	3. Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobio, get this to your pretty mind... No matter what you do, no matter what your flaws are  
> You're beautiful and...
> 
>  
> 
> I love you...

Indescribable feelings

 

Excitement, nervousness, anxiety, uncertainty.  
But what is dominating right now is my love and hope that somehow you come to comprehend this affection of mine, it's you who do my heart shouts for. I'm not even prepared for the consequences if rejected. However, does it matter anymore? If I don't do it now when? If it's too late? At least, It's better to risk then be hurt rather than doing nothing at all then drown in regret because you never tried enough and you wish you did.

 

Hands clammy, insides churning, throat's twisting. I think I might spill out the mushy meat buns and yakisoba I have eaten for lunch. Shit, I'm not scared for the exams because I don't care that much. Actually, I'm done worrying about that because it's finished. English may be the only one I'll be obsessing for to ace, an easy A. I'm dreading for is what coming next.  
Sensei is just sitting on her table. Doing nothing but guarding and reading what? Dan Brown's The Origin... Hmm, typical. Teachers are really bookworms but it's rare to find someone with good looks. She looks calm. Like no one will dare cheat on her, making their image bad to her. Hmm... one of the perks of being the ultimate school crush.

Five minutes

Mech pens clicking in different rhythm and harmony simultaneously.

Tick... Ticktick Tick

Chink Chink Chink Chink

Thangthangthangthang.....

This sounds making me crazy. Its really nice to cover your head and shout Shut up! but only in my imagination. I was already done answering and the Dummy- yama looks at me with his empty murderous intent. Well, definitely he lost the battle. Easy win... Hehehe... I just give him a nervous laugh then goes back to my dilemma.  
Usually I should be faster than this but I wish, in this moment to never pass, this examination will never finish because hell, I do really feel nervous and I don't have a fucking idea and I left my friend, Courage at home this time.  
I point a squinty look to my farthest right. One of my classmate, Ayako Seiko has this habit of clicking her mouth like a gecko in every examinations we have and to tell you the truth, she maybe one of the reasons why me and stupid Kageyama failed History last time.

 

Tuck tock Tuck tock Tuck tock TUck tock...  
She sounds like a time bomb!

 

"Time's up! Pass the papers with your essays now!"

 

Nani? Five minutes is done already! This can't be. My poor heart is not yet prepared! No... I do look weird already because Tobio spares me a dumb glance and there's concern on his face. It's your fault why I'm like this, Bakageyama!  
Why now? I was prepared since last night. I stayed late just to make my composition! I can't take this pressure right now and stupid me for thinking out loud, my hand automatically raises...

 

"Sensei! I can't do this anymore!"

 

She just gives me a hard glare and the whole class shots me their incredulous looks...

"I-I...B-bb back off... Demo..." 

She elegantly roams around the classroom to collect the papers and essays. Oh no, she's almost here...  
She goes to Kageyama's seat to get his papers. She inspects the paper looking for possible missed questions then she shifts her calculating eyes to his essay and her eyes crinkles in amusement, gives Kageyama an approving nod then comments,

"Sun huh? Good symbolism!"

Oh God! I want to tease Tobio for he takes one subject seriously but I don't have the appetite because Misaki's on my front now...  
"Hinata-kun, it's alright..."

She pats my head then look at Tobio's location. Why this dummy looks like a constipated idiot? It's kind of comforting.  
"Thanks"

"So may I have your papers?"  
So stupid me reluctantly passes the paper with shaky hands that I need to use my left one to support it from shaking up. She just gets the paper, observes her own made exam then,  
In an amused tone, eyes are smiling,

"What's making you jittery? You got a perfect score!"

Chaos in class ensues.  
Kageyama managed to bloat his face like a pufferfish in shock  
The class begins to shout in disbelieve and amazement

"And..."  
.  
.  
.  
" I'm so excited to hear Hinata reads in front of the class!" Now, she can't hide her fangirl face while announcing to the world the most controversial buzz.

She dropped the bomb... WHAMM!  
You're still alive Shouyou?

 

....

 

I stand up on my chair, chin pointed downwards, my hand are non stop pulling down the hem of my gakuen out of nervousness. It took me a moment to take the walk of shame as I was demanded to go to the front; Sensei, glorious with a unnerving lopsided smile makes me want to pray to just put me to damnation. I take a sideway glance to Kageyama; his face is in pure awe and puzzlement. I give him a timid smile before stopping at the supreme court er- sensei's desk.  
"Oh, I want to hear Hinata's work"  
"Yeah like... I never knew he could write"  
"I hope it's not all about volleyball again..."  
"Guys, sensei says special person so this is a human we're be hearing from"

 

Whispers that is not really LOUD are buzzing in my ears.  
Sensei just gives me an encouraging look. I nod for assurance then... Hoo! Here it is. Let's take a deep breath and makes a round face. Wow, I'm curious... Do I look like a celebrity sort of? Because the class have this expectant look dawns on their faces; excitement, judgement, curiosity, wonder but does it matter to me? No. I don't care about them as of now because they just all fade in the background. What can only enthralls me, captivates my eyes is the shimmer of his eyes of blue. I don't give a damn about criticism. I want him to only look at me, to pay attention to me and I'm succeeding.

 

"Beautiful Words. Superb title"  
I grab the paper from her hands and as I gather all my remaining courage...  
"Dedicated to his special someone, waah!"  
.  
.  
.  
Kageyama Tobio.

Shit, it doesn't feel right and just out of the blue, I've decided.  
I've change my mind... This piece should be for his ears only and it shall be.

 

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

 

Kageyama Tobio

 

My whole world spins upside down, my spine tingles in a good but terrifying way as I heard my name from Misaki's mouth and the way she announce it make it seems so real and true. Me? Hinata's special someone? I can't ponder to believe this and I deny to believe it until I hear it from Shouyou's mouth.  
Hinata Shouyou. His hand clutches on his essay making it too crumpled to redeem as presentable. His brows crease, cheeks puffs with blushes and if this whole thing is in a different situation, I might find it adorable. However, his eyes looks resolute and at the same, there's uncertainty behind those honey gold orbs like his dignity is depending on it. Its only a recitation. It should be but if I'm the object of his work, it's impossible to never mind. Fuck, my anticipation is getting on me like this whole ordeal will make a big change on our relationship. What I feel is that... Shouyo's taking a big risk to something, a boundary he is trying to cross and I don't have a damn idea on what it is.  
In his reverberating baritone voice,

"Kageyama! Follow me outside, the ground square!"  
Shit, you just manage to make a fool out of me, too dumbstruck to move, I want to open my mouth Why? 

Eyes full of determination he follows up,  
"After all, This is for your ears only..." He drops the paper on the ground, and I just stare on that paper.

He just bolts out the classroom, leaving everyone's face in shock. Misaki's face is unmistakably dumbfounded like she's not expecting this to happen. She has witnessed a twist in her play. I know she has a part in this. This was not part of her plan.

"Bakageyama!"

I wake up from my stupor and Misaki is calling my name. Her face recovers first than anyone else in class. Gaping at her... This person! Shou is the only who can call me that!

"What are you doing here? Go catch him and go for the kill!"

And anyone recovers because I am now hearing their annoying cheer.

"He's confessing stupid!"

"The fuck, run!"

"Hoo! Fucking finally!"

"Hey! Payback! Give me my money!"

 

So I found my balance to run, adrenaline's rushing up, bolts out of the classroom to find my dumbass, I need to hear his words and he needs to listen to what I'm going to tell.  
If this turns out good, I'll thank Sensei Misaki later, personally.  
So I run to chase my sun.

....

Misaki just can't believe it. She guesses, those idiots exceed her expectation (more like exceeding their stupidity). She faces the remaining class, smirking...  
"Darlings, you heard him right? The ground square... Wanna come with me?"  
"Let's go watch those two finally getting together!"  
Alright! The whole class bellows and runs outside the room.  
And she will never miss the chance witnessing how those two will make a damn fan service as they get together.  
Shit, she's so fucking giddy right now, this will be on Facebook live.

 

Fucking finally...

 

={=}={=}={=}={=}{=}={=}{=}={=}={=}=

 

Adrenaline's rushing in through my veins as I continue running around the hallway and I freaking don't care as I waved off some students blocking my way, some teachers shouting "don't run in the hallway!" And the incredulous looks people giving on me. I need to go to where he is.  
I can see the buildings wide exit and as I take a step outside, the soft sunlight surprise me. I search the whole square and there he is, looking all ethereal. His eyes meets mine and it took all my strength to move because he just manage to make my knees all jittery. Lung's gasping for breath...

Well, it's now or never

"I thought you never come, Yama..."  
"What makes you think of that?"  
"I've been waiting for like five minutes?"

"Since you're here now... I need to tell you what's on that paper"  
"You've already thrown the paper"  
"I don't need that. I know what I'll be confessing because this is what this.." He points to his heart. "contains and I would like for you to be the only one who listen since it's for you" Cheeks are becoming shades of red and it suits him so fine.

How many times do I have to be dumbstruck by this person? 

"I hope you have studied a lot of English vocabularies because every word will be in English"  
Being grumpy never grows old, "What do you take me for dumbass?" I hold his hair and gently pull. So soft  
"I'm being serious here, get off" He pulls off the hand who simply wants to touch his cotton soft hair.  
He takes one step behind farther away from me. Wind breezes weakly as it swifts on Shouyo's hair and dances with it. Cheeks are tainted with faint pink, eyes fulls of adoration, eyelid's flutters softly as orbs speckled with gold looks at me and only at me.  
My heart clenches in a good way, making me touch it with my left hand and clutch on it. I need to because if not, I won't be able to take how enchanted he is. I will listen Shouyo, no matter what you say, even it hurts, I listen and accept all the words your beautiful lips would utter.

Tobio...  
My whole body horripilates with his voice touching my skin.

If I would think of a word to describe you as you are; Pretty, Handsome, Cute and Gorgeous doesn't suits you... Those words are not for you.

Shock and confusion draws on my face. Does he really have the time to tease and what? Stupid or dumbass... 

Pretty is the word that only fits for girls who need to mind about physical looks to get attention from everyone but you, you don't need to do anything because I've got my sights on you. You're already eye catching.  
My cheeks suddenly got red.  
Handsome? Yes you are but that would not be enough to tell them what you are. Handsome is for men who are like for how to they look and appear but not for what and how they are.  
Do you really look at me like that?  
Cute best describes the puppies and children. Yes, you do act like a child; pouting those thin lips of yours when I manage to be a pain in your ass. You show to me the puppy look in your eyes to get things your way. I don't mind because I like every cute parts of you. Yet, it's still not the right word for you.

Definitely, you can be gorgeous without you knowing. You have good looks, you have talents, you have a one of a kind personality. If being a stoic ice prince can be counted as one. Fancy wears on you. All the cool things you have, the way you carry yourself like a king fits on you. You can be a moondust and people are following behind you yet it's too superficial. Superficial is the last word I can say to you because you are not. You're so real in everything you are, so gorgeous is not you.  
If I am to describe you are, Pretty, Handsome, Cute and Gorgeous doesn't suits you... Those words are not for you.  
Because ...  
You are beautiful. As simple as that.

 

Beautiful?  
Sometimes, in my dream. I want to believe that I'm beautiful. I'm not this sick, ugly, fucked up of a person. I wish that deep inside, people will like me or at least accept me as I am but no, they always leave me behind because they can't tolerate me. I'm always angry, judging. I don't know how to deal with people and their feelings and at first I don't mind, I don't know how to deal with mine so why bother with them? But now, I have Karasuno and now, Hinata is here. I do care so much it hurts because my mind's a bad thing, creeping in the dark as it whispers...  
People never stays because you're ugly

I wonder why I became like this?  
Ah, I remember.  
'''''

Tobio!  
His father's terrorizing voice reverberates the whole house as Tobio is making his way slowly towards the source of the sound. Fingers fidgety pulling the hem of his shorts, then crumpling it out of anxiety. Scared to death, he whispers...  
"I did something wrong again. Father would kill me..."  
"I disappointed him again..."  
"I made him ashamed of me, I'm not a good son..."

Apprehension, dread or whatever word suits for it surrounds his whole body, spreading through his veins as he makes his way, stopping at his father's opened door, waiting for his instruction to let him in.

His father, in all suits and tie is the epitome of what a harsh, intimidating and powerful person is. He is the embodiment of control. With his protruding aristocratic nose, strong set of jaws, contemptuous lips and his piercing blue eyes can make one knees' jerk and lose their balance. There is something else in his father that makes everybody runs in fear and follow his command. Because what lies within that handsome face, is a monster, a demon who wants to manipulate the people around him.  
Demons are great actors because when his mother is around, his father transforms as his ideal father existing on his mind only; all doting and loving. He looks and acts like an angel as my mom said. A devil in disguise.

I never told mom anything even I want to run and cry on her bosom, for her to take away my pain and fear but my father, with his manipulation and intimidation never let me go. I am his son yet he doesn't care. I'm only a tool for , a mean to meet dead's end. He wants me to be what he is. He wants me to be the perfect son and he hates me so much when I never exceeds his expectation, when I fail to anything he wants me to accomplish. Like now...

"Tobio, enter the fucking room now!"

I jolt in fear and timidly enters the room. The door closes in and my fear deepens because what lies within anytime behind my father's closed door...

"You fucking little shit! How dare you to fail this simple fucking subject!"

"Fool, I don't have a retarded son!"

"You're not my son!"

"You always fail me! I'm so ashamed of everybody!"

"How come you're not selected as Mr. Yamatos's daughter betrothed! You lose my investment! Do you know how much money did you lose and that should be mine!  
Fuck you

Stupid

Failure

Ugly

After that, the sound of his belt will be marked on my skin.

Smack!  
Whiip!

Slaps on my face and a punch to my gut.

Bwam!

After that, shouts of plea and promises will be heard.

"Sorry father, that will never happen again... Just don't hurt me"

I pleaded,

"Please"

Nothing happens, no mercy shown.

After that, you will hear my battered body collides the tiled floor. A 6 year old kid wishes to be dead but what hurts the most after his father kicks him is the sound of his bored snicker then turns around fixing his tie, straightening his suit then leaves like nothing happened.  
What hurts the most...  
Are the words his father engrailed on his mind...

Unwanted

Stupid

Failure

 

Ugly  
.  
.  
.  
Ugly  
Ugly 

 

God must have heard his prayer when he was nine because his mom saved him like a warrior she has when she finally came from from one of her business trip; father was caught in the act hitting me with his leather belt while I was tied down to a chair, him shouting profanities and the ugly things on my ears.  
My mom had hit father with one of the vacant chairs on his study, untying me and run for our lives.

He was detained and jailed to whatever place he is. I was able to cry in my mom's arms and I felt finally safe and free.  
Or so I thought...

He left me already but not in my dreams, not in my nightmare and not in my soul.  
What hurts the most...

His voice, he made sure I would never forget him. That became the demon inside my head who never fails to remind me how ugly and unwanted I am.  
The worse thing...

I came to believe it.

Worser...  
Therapy and psychologist never make at least a little dent to chase this demon away. Volleyball sometimes, can make me distracted, to forgot just a little but at night, his terror throttles in.

Worst...  
Middle high school. I had learned to keep all the feelings inside, no one cares anyway.  
I almost became like him.

He never fails...  
The demon never leave me alone and he was now living inside of me.  
Fuck you father for making me like this.  
Fuck you for making me and mom miserable.  
I hate you.

 

...

 

But when I met this ball of sunshine in my life. The hopeless internal battle that I was supposedly be losing makes a total upside down. When I let his sunshine smile, that pretty voice, that beautiful golden eyes destroys the barricade of my heart, the demon suddenly vanishes. No more nightmares, instead Shouyou became the subject of my dream and fantasy. Instead of insecurities and anxiety, Shouyou's assurance makes me confident and strong and instead of the demon seeps through me and mom, making us miserable and guilty, his bright personality and humour is what surrounds now the Kageyama's household. My mom loves him and a house becomes a home, safe and cozy. And, I'm too happy to see my mom smiles because she have seen that I can survive, we can survive.

Right now, the demon is still making his attack. This moment, a surge of panic enters my body as anxiety and the ugly word is whispering through my ears.

 

Ugly  
Ugly

Hinata senses the shift in my mood but the next words that will comes out from that pretty lips makes the finality for the demon to die...

 

"You are beautiful..."

 

"How can you say I'm beautiful? Don't you see how fucked up of a person I am?"

 

But Shouyou just smiles at me with his half lidded eyes. He reaches out his hands touching mine, caressing my knuckles gently.  
"Hey..." There he goes again with his sweet voice.

 

"It's sort of cheesy and poetic so hoping you don't freak out..."  
"Never"

You're beautiful. Everything about you is remarkably breath taking. The blackness of your raven hair is like the silky dark sky and your eyes are the brightest stars among them that twinkle in an amazing way when filled with delight. It can be also be the bluest sky as it looks like it would rain. It makes my heart clench and it obsessed me to make it fade away.

Don't you know that every night the stars glimpsing on my windowpane, your eyes is all I ever think of?  
The movement of your lips when you steal a smile manages to makes me swoon in sight and makes me weak in the knees. Once in a blue moon is when you flashes those pearly white teeth. When you laugh, you sounds like angels whispering softly to me, a god's miracle in the making.

These hands you have is marvelous. The way it moves, so graceful like the dancing grass swayed with the music of the breeze. There's something different when you hold things, touch things. Every time these working hands set to me, you blast out the best in me and you make me amazing and I thought that was it but no...  
When your touch lingers on my hair, on my cheeks , on my shoulders and when you accidentally touch my hand, Tobio... you make my heart flutters it ruins me, you make me weak with your touches.

Hinata... He just put my callous hands on his cheeks and it stays, letting me feel the smoothness and warmth of his flowing skin.  
Your hands are rough and cold but when you touch me just a little, its delicate, soft and my heart suddenly warms. I crave for more. I'm addicted to your touch.  
There's no way...

It's the other one around...

 

You know what its not what you look what makes me attach to you. It's how you make me feel things when I'm with you.  
You are the large expanse of the ocean, waves are glittering by the moonlight and bringing the gentlest breeze to comfort when my heart's at tempest.  
The brightest star at my darkest night. When I can't see, you show me a glimpse of the path I need to take. When I'm afraid, you cast those fears away to go on.

Unexpectedly, you are the thrill of adventure. Like I'm rolling deeper under the ocean and taking a big breath when I reach the surface. Like the overwhelming feeling of awe when I reach the peak of the highest mountain. Like running to the deepest part of the jungle, like the wings to make my feet off the ground to fly.  
The dangers and risks. The erratic beating of my heart, the adrenaline inside my vein, the excitement, the joy when we're together. You make me alive, always a brand new adventure.

 

Most of all, you make me feel the most beautiful emotion. I told you every human dreams to fly and they will find their wings to make it and I did....  
Shouyou shifts his hands away and goes to my face, touching it, gentle yet firm, making sure that I only look on his eyes. His eyes convincing me it will only tells the truth and nothing but the truth and what he feels. I started to feel tears forming in my eyes... I just can't believe.  
You make me feel love Tobio... The most beautiful thing in the world. Imagine, there are a lot of people in this place but you, only you can make me feel like this. You make me fly to the highest sky and make me invincible...

 

Tobio, get this to your pretty mind... No matter what you do, no matter what your flaws are  
You're beautiful and...  
I love you...

 

These three words are enough to make me believe, to make me take away all the self-doubt and fear and sweep him down for our first real kiss. My hands holding his nape to feel him more, his arms anchoring on my neck, bracing himself. It is soft, lingering and warm yet his kiss brings out an electric surge running from the top of my face to the tip of my toes. It is soft like what I have dream to. It is a bit awkward, a bit nervous too because it's Shouyou but it still makes me a sucker, a dumbstruck. I feel his timidness and to the fact it is a first for him and a brand new feeling, I'm glad because I feel the same; the want I have so for a long time to touch his lips shifts to something hesitant because its him, its him and his lips yet even this kiss is a whirlwind of emotion, it is perfect nevertheless. His body perfectly fits mine, he was made to fit in my arms, like he was born to be with me, a fixed puzzle piece. Is this how it feels when you find someone who completes you, to make you amazing over all?  
I moan, I moan because its too good and I want more. That makes him confident to open his mouth, taunting me to take him more. I feel his longing, his yearning as he tilt his head to kiss me more. From the soft, fluttery touches of lips to a heated, wanting open mouth kiss; his tongue entering and feel every crevices of my mouth and I do the same, feeling and tasting all of him as I desperately hold his waist, make him closer, wanting him to understand that I feel the same, we're on the same page, that I long to be with him, doing things like this. I feel enchanted, I don't care if everyone in this school sees us, I don't give a damn if the principal or counselor put us to detention because all that I care of is, I don't want to pull out from his mouth. Everything stops in motion and all I feel is Shouyou's heated kiss, his warmth, his breath, and I'm hooked.  
My hands roaming his shoulder to his back, memorising how his back curves, how slim his body is, then to his swan-like neck. I know my touch are desperate, I know I'll be getting more than this in the future but right now, I guess, I'm still getting used to this. We pour out in this kiss what we feel for each other, our love, our heart and our soul.  
The open mouthed kiss lasted for minutes and as we pull out, our forehead's touching, eyes staring each other. We both know that kiss was... Mind-blowing...  
Amazing

Still gasping for breath, 

"I just can't believe it" my hands drops to his waist, letting him stay.

"Tobio, you're officially mine right?" His hands linger on my face.

I just nod my head because I'm just too elated. It's really too good to be true. Shouyou is mine, officially.  
"Shou..."

"Hmm..."

"I love you too"

Shouyou is the most adorable right now with his cheeks flaring red, his mouth opens in an 'o' shape like he can't believe it and once he do, he suddenly clings to me tighter, face on my chest to hide his embarassment and his red face. For someone who just flawlessly brave to confess, he's very shy to the core.  
I caged him to an embrace, combing his tousled hair... Well, it's my turn, now or never.

"I'm dreaming of this for damn long and I always think how the hell would I do to make it happen... But you beat me to that.  
Shou, eversince you came I was a miserable as fuck person. I was the misunderstood, the unwanted..."

"Tobi, you're not..." He hugs me tighter while his lips in between my ear and neck, his breath ghosting my skin and I feel chills.

"Yes I am at least what my father have engraved in my mind and I have believed it for so long. He was my father and yet, I realized when I last saw him behind bars. His eyes, it hurts to see that he never really loves me. It was disappointing because here, I have saved a little hope that someday, he'll learn to love me, I will be having his love but he crushed it"

Shouyou starts to caress his hands all over my face. From raking my hair to gently touching my cheeks, the habit of his to make me relaxed. Eyes on me, ready to take all what I'll say, ears ready to empathize.

"I thought I'll be OK but then at night, he's there whispering in my ear, mocking me the ugly, the unwanted. I know I shouldn't listen because he's not there anymore but I started to believe. At first I was in denial that I'm alright then comes anger. Anger that I don't have the slightest idea that everyone around me were affected"  
"I started to lose myself and I became like him. He made me wear that disgusting crown. I became autocratic, never trusting, unapproachable. I shut off everyone because deep inside I'm scared and sad that they come, used me then if I'm not good enough...throw me away. Too late for me, I became depressed and I already gave up to fight"  
I take grasp of his hands, lowering it from my face. Then touches his knuckles and raise both to pepper them with butterfly kisses.

"But you, when you came to my life as my team, my spiker then my partner, with just your presence. You cast the darkness of mine like the sun and make me shine. You, with your stubbornness, your perseverance to know me more, to make me happy, to make me feel worthy and wanted, took my depression away that my shrink is taking years to heal me. So, I fall in love with you and finding out you feel the same thing, Shouyou, you don't know how you make me so... Ahh so, damn I feel so dumb right now, I can't...."  
Shit, I practice this but why on earth I cant just tell the word and my dumbass just giggles, making fun of my embarrassed face.  
"Tobio, sometimes you don't know how to shut up so let me shut you with a kiss"  
Shit, he got me there.

"Yeah I know and I wish you never had them because you don't deserve it. As for your dad, he never know what he thrown away so I'm here to pick you and keep you. You're too precious and I'm happy I'm your reason to survive but don't forget that you completed me, you're my reason too why I fall in love"  
I just can't stop from smiling, my feelings are overflowing out of happiness and like a dumb I am, he's too adorable, I hoist him up, his mouth eliciting cute yelps and i just melts because Shouyou, all real, legs wrapping on my torso, hands grabbing my shoulders, laughing like music's to my ears. The gentle sun shines behind his back, reflecting his big round honey gold eyes, his slightly pinked face and the more I see his smiling face, he really looks so beautiful and ethereal, the sun making him stand out more. I just can't believe he's mine, all mine.

He looks so smitten right now but who cares, they are on the same page. He knows they all have the time in the world but he wants to make the best of this moment. He is still absorbing, feeling everything. Shouyou clinging to him, loving him.

"Shou, I love you"

"No shit Sherlock, I love you too"

I reach up and he delves down to meet the distance and our lips meets again for another amazing kiss and this time, it's gentle, taking slow with feeling the softness of his lips to mine.

 

Shouyou breathes for a second...

"Sucker for you babe"

"Me too" 

While grinning, I put my left hand on his nape while the other is supporting his back, and pull him closer to feel his lips again.  
This is really how it feels like...  
When he touch me, I lose my bearings  
When he kiss me, I lose my breath and sanity.  
It's very addicting and I want more.

 

*****************

 

Kageyama notices on his peripheral vision his teammates with a triumphant faces like they're know the inevitable and ugh...their obnoxious classmate and their crazy teacher gushing and nose bleeding while holding her phone, capturing their moment while shouting obscenities.  
Hmm... She wants a damn fan service, definitely she'll get until she dies...

 

So the ever kingly Kageyama Tobio suddenly licks Shouyou's chin up to his lips, begging for entrance with an evil glint on his eyes, making the other red in the face like a tomato but recovers because Hinata Shouyou, the ever sly have read between the lines and he was a little annoyed for her teacher barging in has the naughty look in his eyes sticks out his tongue, taunting his Tobio and the lucky bastard opens his mouth to suck his tongue then the messy tongue lapping, French kissing begins and both of them will never want to stop.

 

Satisfaction surges through him as Shouyou starts to moan and hears his classmate shouting...  
"Sensei! Guys help sensei is dying!"  
If you call fainting from too much fan service dying...

 

 

Omake:

 

1 email notification  
(BG MUSIC: Never be the same by Camilla Cabello)

Misaki, as of the moment is spending her two-week vacation in her belovd country, inside her best friend's humble room, chatting and taking up her time to chat out what she have missed for the past two years well, she was currently living in Japan because of her job and you know, you do crazy things when you fall in love because right now, the former bitter lady has just been engaged to her long time boyfriend, Kuroko Tetsuya so while her best friend's gushing over to her story of her OTP, and proudly telling her that she's now her OTP's English teacher, they have just heard her laptop's ringtone.

"Beshie, wait, I'll check lang"

She goes to her PC to check the email she received and she doesn't know that this will be one of the best thing/collection in her life, and her death too.

 

FROM: Kageyama Tobio  
Thank you so much because I admit if it ain't for you, I never know what my life would with Shouyou, especially in bed (evil smirk)  
So here's a token of appreciation and hope you die.  
P.S I have my Shouyou's ultimate album and I'll never share, all mine, makes me jack off just by looking at his blissful sex face.  
Attachment: Afterglow shots with Shouyou

 

"Beshie, putangina! Dali tingnan mo to! Shit besh, Tangina!"

 

So they metaphorically dies of blood loss due to extreme nose bleed. The teacher's swearing internally you stingy Tobio! You really done this on purpose.  
Who wouldn't be though if the photo contains Tobio on side view leaving marks on his boyfriend's neck, slightly looking at his hidden camera with an evil glint on his blue eyes while the innocent Shouyou is all red, eyes cringing shut, mouth's open and drooling on his chin from too much pleasure, neck filled with bite mark and both fucking topless. Kinky Tobio knows how to make people excited because he only cropped the top shot and the crazy best friends only imagines what Tobio is doing on him way downward and fuck, they know he's wrecking him hard and good.

"My fucking student is so kinky Yasu!"

Does Shouyou knows his boyfriend is having a fucking shooting every time they shags... Malibog na boyfriend...  
But it doesn't mean she doesn't like it.

Another shot consists of their postcoital bliss. Shouyou, all smiley on the cam with a peace sign while Tobio's on his back, hugging his boyfriend possessively while kissing his left cheeks and both fucking topless.

"Tangina beshie! Namatay na ko!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shemsss... first time in forever!
> 
> epic: "Tangina beshie! Namatay na ko!"

**Author's Note:**

> Hoo... for so long, I have made my second fanfic. Can't help it, I do really love Kagehina getting together!


End file.
